Monday, January 5, 2009

Linkin Park- on the couch

Ok, so I hate linkin park. Like, pretty passionately. I always have, and I hold them at least partially responsible for the angst-mongering, desperate, whiny douchebag garbage that plagued popular rock radio in the early 00's, and continues to bug intelligent, musically tasteful people to this day. I don't mean to sound pretentious with that last part, I basically just mean people who aren't sh1theads.

Someone I know recently made a point; and it's one I couldn't agree with more. If the singer (Chester Bennington) had recieved JUST ONE hug from his mother when he was a kid, we would be living in a world WITHOUT Linkin Park. Imagine it. Let's call this world "heaven".

Ok, enough disgust. I am writing this to get to the bottom of my hatred for this inexplicably popular loser music by breaking it down. This is my attempt at an objective view at the sadly NOT late, NEVER great Linkin Park. Keep in mind, this is not easy for me.

Starting with lyrics:

papercut- I don't know what stressed me first, or how the pressure was fed

numb- I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

breaking the habit- memories consume, like opening the wound, I'm pickin me apart again

...............Ok, I can't find it in myself to continue. And that even sounds like a LP lyric. UGH.

Let's string those three lyrics together, shall we? They, as their lyrics tend to do, deal with:

A- external torment. (it's not me, it's you.)

B- inability to healthily interact with people. (more on this one below.)

C- a probably skewed perception of past experiences. AKA IT WASN'T SO BAD, DUMMY. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.

-add on to B: their lyrics CONSTANTLY hold a message of "not fitting in" while being in an ongoing, and never successful, struggle to do so.

-also, there is an ever-present "you" in the songs, placing the blame on the so-called "antisocial behavior" on someone else.

WHICH LEADS ME, to "external torment", or A. What musician has been hammered flat by people so badly that EVERY song needs to have, give or take a few teardrops, the exact same theme? I gaurantee Chester the one-toe-water-tester has not. Look it up. He was a "drug addict" (a term that is often fudged in order to get attention) that worked at burger king before his "stinkin' park" fame. In other words, the clown you PROBABLY know, or have known, who happened to make it big. By crying. A lot. And this particular clown continued crying, even after he made it big. Shocking, I know.

Here's what I picture: There's this little baby bird with it's beak open, cheeping, cheeping, just wanting a worm, ONE LOUSY WORM from momma-bird. And momma-bird never comes back to the nest. He thinks maybe she got eated by big bad Mr. Owl! But really momma-bird just got tired of his incessant chatter. Baby birdie resents her, very very much, and his lil' brother and sister birds soon learn to fly and find their own wormies! But back in the nest, there's still little baby chester, all grown up and no one to feed him. But he's just a hungry lil' baby!! No one ever taught the lil' fella to fly, or to catch his own wormies to snack on! So there he sits, cheeping away, hoping momma-bird will come back someday and teach him how to be a big bird, instead of a helpless chewed up piece of bubble gum with a greedy complaing f*cking mouth.

ANALYSIS: I f*ckin' hate linkin park.

5 comments:

The BEEZE said...

That was great....I couldn't agree more....F**king awesome!!!

Fragnoli said...

Very cool. However, I offer you this alternative;

If they weren't writing about torment and apathy, who would they be?

That's right, the B-52's and all those other shiny happy people holding hands.

Jurk said...

A valid point. The B-52's are as obnoxious as Linkin Park, but they don't try to pack the punch that LP tries (and fails) to do, and therefore can't be as pathetic.
Glad you liked it though!
Also, I am now wondering what LP covering REM would sound like.

The BEEZE said...

LP doing REM...God help us all.

Fragnoli said...

I think LP covering REM would border on Limp Bizkit's cover of The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes".