Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Color commentary

Serial Killer Pictures, Images and Photos
Ok. I mercifully did not write this. Someone I know had this sent to her in a random email.
I am simply going to make jokes as it goes. Think Mystery Science Theater 3000.

His words are in normal font, mine are in bold red. Don't confuse. Please.




My Dear,The possible connection we share in our mutual enjoyment of self pleasuring could be sharpened to such a fine edge when we share our erotic energies in a concerted effort towards intensifying the explosiveness of our inevitable release. Ok, anyone have douche chills yet?I certainly do. The visual and tactile enticements that our two bodies and minds will rend for each other will begin to strip away the haze of our lust until like a laser we are focused, without any misconceptions, on the startling clarity of our orgasms. Lasers and orgasms. Great comparison. Top notch. Clear and unmistakable, we commit to our releases for those shinning moments, knowing that our spark is the tip of the flame of lifetime devotion to our passion and that the intensity could be heightened to unknowable levels when we empower each other.Consider thisA luxurious evening spent enjoying a fine meal, good wine and the sultry anticipation of our private passion to come. I have access to information that this guy most likely lives with his mother. At age 47, mind you. We revel in each others beauty and energy and fan our flame with words and movements that tease our already lust filled minds. Our desires to demonstrate our passion is matched only by each others desire to witness it and to reciprocate in total lock step. Lock step? You've tried and failed at being "poetic" but that just makes no sense. That energy carries us to your home. You disappear into the bedroom to slip into something more revealing, as I prepare our nest for the scene of our ultimate release. Watch how many times he uses the word "nest". On the floor, in front of the mirrors, I place a large towel and plenty of pillows for you to recline on. Beside our nest I place some love oil (or giant eagle canola) and some wine and a pile of towels. The lights are set to a warm sultry glow, and the piano light set to highlight the nest, perfect for watching each other so that no detail of our explorations could be missed by the other.When you emerge from the bedroom, I can feel the burning intensity of your fire and can see immediately in your eyes the embers of your passion blazing just beneath the surface of your sexy, sultry countenance. Countenance? What fucking century is this? As you inspect our nest I begin to undress. You pause and watch me and I entice you as best I can as I disrobe until I am standing naked in front of you. With practiced ease, I brush my hands across my penis and explore my testicles while you gaze intently at me. Ok, by "practiced ease" I take it that means he masturbates. A lot. Not uncommon, and definately nothingi to brag about. As my manipulation begins to entice you, you step towards me with your hands outstretched. Lovingly, I place my cock in your hands and together we delicately explore my heated shaft. You coo and I moan at our delicious meanderings on my sex. Do ya? Looking up at me our faces brush and I can feel the heat of your breath escaping from your beautiful lips. Our tongues explore those lips which lips, again? with light erotic strokes that send quivers through your spine. I reach for your shoulders and spin you around away from me and towards the mirror dropping your robe at our feet to reveal your torso and your breasts. And, ya know... everything else. Unless he's seducing an amputee. Pressing up against you we feel my throbbing penis on your back as I reach around you and brush your nipples with my fingers. Immediately they respond. As do you with a sigh. My continued exploration of your nipples they're really not that big elicits the movement of your hands inextricably which means impossible to break free of, so how does the following happen again? to your vagina as you begin to explore your wetness for us. Passionately I disrobe you from your panties causing you to spread your legs after they are removed. From behind I begin to explore your vagina for myself. Together we delve into your sex "sex" is keyword for genitals apparently, being that he called his weenie his "sex" earlier, our focus beaming on your divine wetness, your fingers and nails which are attached to fingers, and actually might hurt a bit dancing on your clitoris and my fingers exploring your depths. Your legs spread more and your knees become athletically bent in your effort to concentrate on the intensity of feelings from between your legs. Looking at us in the mirror the image of our abandon and our approach to your orgasm is succulent. On that edge we stop with you quivering on the edge of cascading into a ringing orgasm! The incredible tension in your muscles relaxes as you exhale a passionate deep breath. I step from behind you to reveal my hugely engorged erection, itself quivering to the excitement we both feel. How intoxicating it is to know that we are both so excited that the slightest provocation would send us reeling into an explosion of orgasmic energy. Indeed. Yet we yearn to tighten the tension in the knot of our passions to an ever more powerful potential that when finally released will reward ourselves with a scene of such awesome proportions we will revel in it for days to come and use it as a reference point from which to build. Just to clarify, we are talking about sex still, right? With nowhere to go but up or two thumbs down, yuk yuk, I pull you down onto the pillows. When properly ensconced in them you are reclining and facing the mirror easily allowing you to view yourself both in the mirror and directly. Together we spread your creamy thighs was "creamy thighs" really necessary? and begin to explore your gorgeous vagina. The intoxicating wetness of your lips is revealed as you spread your labia and expose the crisp taughtness of your clitoris.Time out. There is nothinging "crisp" about a clitoris. Seriously? Entranced I move back onto my heels, kneeling directly to your side, we begin to administer expertly to the demands of our libidos.The exhibition of our engorged passions is twisting the knot ever tighter. The utter beauty of our questing for the intensity of this greater plateau together is amazing. Is it, ya fuckin cheeseball? With both my hands(?) I gently caress the shaft of my penis languishing in the pure pleasure it brings. I turn and move closer to your head extending my shaft out before you, the head of my cock just inches away from your sexy face. Together we gaze in the mirror at the incredible erotic image we make. My hardness and your wetness entwine and pull us inexorably towards the wondrous final destination we seek.Luxuriantly we wander through the visual and tactile pleasures we so ardently exhibit for each other. This could be the corniest sentence ever written, no joke. No sounds are heard but for our quiet sighs and gasps and the sound of fingers and hands ministering to the incredible self pleasuring we are displaying. Cradling my testicles, they are high and tight in their sack, filled to the brim with the seed you have stimulated to gather within. Yuck, yuck, and yechh...I caress them for you and tease them for you and taunt you with the power of the expulsion we will witness together. I stand and move above you at your head and face the mirror. Your position allows you to gaze up my powerful erection rapist much? above and to gaze at the mirror to at once see yourself and me stroking above you. My view allows me to gaze past my engorged cock to your sultry face below and to view in the mirror your unbridled lustful fingerings of your labia and clitoris. The incredible heat of your vagina shines in the dark red and fiery lips of your vagina as we are now hurtling without recourse to our eruptions.My knees bend slightly as I feel the oncoming rush of my orgasm approaching. I offer to you, "I cannot hold back any longer. I'm going to cum." ...on the high school letterman jacket Mother embroidered "football" on for me when I was 30.With that your pace quickens on your clitoris, my knees bend slightly more as every fiber of my being is centered on my throbbing cock and the vision of you before me. Then it happens. Like time standing still the convulsion and contractions of my loins over take me. Time can't stand still. And you're jerking yourself off. I'm just sayin'. I am paralyzed by the sheer magnitude of the pleasure. The eruption of my semen begins sending wave after wave of huge gulps of cum exploding from the end of my cock. Stream after stream erupts so powerfully they splash against the mirror at your feet. Everything seems as if it is slow motion.Looking past my exploding penis my eyes absorb your sexy face as your own convulsions over take you. Writhing beneath your fingers and under the hail of my river of lust, you cum. If you're creeped out and ya know it, raise you're hands...Straining against your fingers your vagina explodes into the ecstasy of pure release we have sought so long together. With my cum raining down upon you the intensity of your orgasm is astonishing and the lustful contortions you exhibit as you cum are ambrosia too me, enticing me to shoot more cum than I could ever imagine, but this is the hold you have on me and I give it too you with every abandon I can muster. Hey, thanks! Just what I wanted... raining cum. Don't eat the ambrosia. As we begin to emerge from the torrents of our pleasure and the last delicious peaks of our orgasms pass and we shudder into the last glorious emissions the sight before us is awesome. Below me you glisten and glow in the unbelievable capacity of my seed and the sweat of your magnificent attentions to your gorgeous vagina.Slowly I sink to my knees, my still hard shaft cradled in my hand (shocking) and presented loving for you to adore, I am still spasming in the last throws of pleasure from our incredible tryst. My whole body throbs with the power of the events we have shared and the intensity of our pleasures lingers in every delicate stroke of my hands on my cock. Slowly I release my hands from my center and begin to caress your face stroking your flushed cheeks as your heavy sighs decry the enormity of your satisfaction. Over and over again you smile and cringe finally, a realistic reaction as you too are still caught in the delicious ending throws of your incredible orgasm.Slowly I begin to towel you off, gently absorbing the fruit of my loins I have so prolifically painted you with. You are absolutely glowing. Your sensitivity is so high you can barley (which is a grass) withstand the light touch of the towel on your skin. You are remarkable in this and I adore you for it.Cradling you against my chest we open the wine a sip the delicious nectar letting ourselves be absorbed into its taste and languish in the incredible after glow of our sublime activities. I am languishing reading this. Lingering on the edge of sleep for sometime and sharing simple caresses, it is time for me to go. I rise and dress quickly but offer you impassioned gazes at my penis and testicles which I so enjoy. What? Ew. What the fuck?Giving you a peck on the cheek I disappear out your door leaving us to the musings of our night ahead and the rich and restful slumber which will surely embrace us when we lay our heads on the pillow. The dreams we dream this night shall be on the incredible passion that were and the prospect of fulfilling even more prolific passions in the future.bye,bye sweet regards,Nik


... Oooo-kaaaayy....
Through the person I was sent this by, I have seen this guy's pictures. He's 47 years old, has a dating website profile, looks like a fucking kid toucher, and "takes care of" his 75 year old mother. Which he probably lives with. Say hi to mom for us, soul mate.

7 comments:

The BEEZE said...

The only crisp clitoris I've ever seen is on the corpse of a hooker I torched when I was done!

Fucking awesome Jurk...That guy gives me non-stop douche chills!

Crazy Canton Cuts said...

fantastic post

now I'm off to find that little man in the boat

Jurk said...

thank you, and thank you.

Crazy Canton Cuts said...

dude?

could you check out my latest post and join in on my mission?

I'd appreciate it

weaponswiredxxx said...

LOL that guy JUST sent me that same message.

the sad this is, i'm not even lying.

weaponswiredxxx said...

that guy just sent me that same message.

the sad thing is, i'm being serious.

weaponswiredxxx said...

sorry for the double post!!